So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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