i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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