im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so let's talk penis.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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