i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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