How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
