So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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