I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
