Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
