Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
