Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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