Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
