please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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