i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
