shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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