Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
