If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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