So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
