Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
