I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dear god my vagina.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
