Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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