I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
