I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
