Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What drink are we having for lunch?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
