I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
