yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
