just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So vagazzling was a success
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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