do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
