i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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