Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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