tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize