did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
