I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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