Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
