i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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