Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
