I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
