If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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