So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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