he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
