I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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