So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize