It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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