No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
