are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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