My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
