im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
