And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
this is an emotional support booty call
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
