We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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