.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
