I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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