Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
