four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
