She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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