walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
