just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
