o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
