Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is wine microwaveable?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
