Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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