Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
